COME TO THE FEAST

We spent much of the last week with my parents. We left last Saturday to go up, leaving much later in the day than we had planned. I called my mom about 9:00 p.m. to let her know where we were and let her know that we were on schedule to arrive there about midnight. I asked if they were planning to go to Bible class on Sunday morning, as they had not been going for that when I was there in the summer. She said they had been going, but "there was no law that said they had to." I got up about 7:00 a.m. on Sunday morning, but knew I was not going to be able to move fast enough to be able to be ready to leave by their scheduled 8:00 a.m. departure time. I told Mom this and she said they would just wait and go for preaching. I went to shower and get ready. I heard my dad call someone to let them know he and Mom would not be at Bible class. When I came out of the bathroom about ten minutes after eight, there sat my mom at the end of the table - hat and jacket on - dressed and ready to go. Obviously, somewhere between breakfast at 7:00 a.m. and that point, it had slipped her mind that we were not planning to go to Bible class. (I quickly finished getting ready, and Dad made some adjustments, and we made it just about three minutes late!)

This was the first of several instances where it became clear that my mom's mind is slipping more and more. She thought the year was 2002. She had not been taking the multi-vitamins I had purchased for her in the summer because she did not remember to take them. The last two times she tried to make her home-made rolls, they have not turned out well.

She is obviously not eating well. I watched her stumble and almost fall several times while I was there. She has to hold on to the wall to walk down the hall. I don't know how much the lack of proper diet contributes to all this. It grieves me that I cannot spend the time needed with her to take her to the needed doctors to find the cause for these issues.

She told me that her plants were beginning to die, just as her mother's had done before her mother's death. She said it gives her a strange feeling. After checking the plants, I told her I think the problem with the plants is that she isn't watering them. But, you never know.

The night before we were to leave, I gave her a hug before going to bed. She said, "I'm going to miss you when you're gone."

Me, too, Mom. Me, too.

Tonight we went to ACU's first home basketball game of the season. The first game since Josh was killed. In many ways, it was not as difficult as I had imagined it might be. I think that was mostly because there are so few of the team from last year back this year - only 4 to be exact. Four of twelve. A totally different group. No one quite like Josh, though. I don't think I have ever seen a kid play with so much heart, so much give, so much determination. With Josh, you never had to wonder where his head was - it was always obviously in the game. He gave all he had and then some.

This is going to be a difficult holiday season for his family. The first one without him. The first is probably the most difficult.

It will also be the first for Kerri's family. And Karen's family. And my Uncle Woody's family. And Linda's family.

And, I am all too keenly aware, it could very well be the last for my family. The last with one or both of my parents. We leave in the morning to go be with them. I will savor every minute we have there. Leaving will be bittersweet, knowing each time now holds more and more the possibility of being the last time.




I long for Heaven more and more. Where there will be no more parting. No more good-byes. No more last times.

Original Trinity Hymnal, #730

In the land of fadeless day
Lies the city four-square;
It shall never pass away,
And there is no night there.

God shall wipe away all tears;
There's no death, no pain, nor fears;
And they count not time by years;
For there is no night there.

All the gates of pearl are made
In the city four-square;
All the streets with gold are laid,
And there is no night there.

And the gates shall never close
To the city four-square;
There life's crystal river flows,
And there is no night there.

There they need no sunshine bright,
In that city four-square;
For the Lamb is all the light,
And there is no night there.

Satan seems to be really attacking me and a lot of those I know lately. Someone I know who has just recently become a single mom through no wish of her own experienced the horrible tragedy of having someone break into her home and violently assault the house. Fortunately, neither she nor her children were injured physically, but the psychological wounds will not be easy to heal.

My friend Teri is still struggling with health issues, loss of income, and was passed over for promotion to the day shift after having been promised she would be given the next opening.

A complaint was filed against me by the mother of a welfare client I am investigating. She was angry because I did not allow her to be present while I interrogated her daughter, so she accused me of being rude to her and her daughter (who, I might add, is an adult, with children and a full-time job, but mother wants to be in charge of her life). And my supervisor has acted on the assumption that I did something wrong.

Then, my sister-in-law, who had invited us to spend Thanksgiving with her, decided she needed the space for her family and told us to plan to spend the two nights we were going to stay with her at a motel instead. I guess when we didn't respond to her e-mail, she decided she had offended us and began a series of e-mails asking us to be understanding. I'm trying.

I'm just praying that I can turn my problems over to God and let Him be in control. I know He will do a much better job taking care of things than I will.

Meanwhile, I pray for Beverly and her family that they can recover peace of mind and a sense of safety and security in a world that has already turned chaotic. I pray for good health for Teri and another opening on the day shift and that this one goes to her, as promised. I pray my supervisor will realize that there are two sides to every story and recognize that he has observed my actions for the past 17 years and never seen me raise my voice to anyone or treat them disrespectfully, and ask himself why would that be different now. I pray that we can have a peaceful resolution to the hurt we have felt from Lorin's sister, even though this is the second time she has invited us to stay with her, and then "un-invited" us.

I pray for my friend, Calvin, who is in New Mexico, far from home and family and lonely.

I pray for my friend, Pat, who got word today that his mother is not doing well. He learned later that it is not as serious as he first thought.

I pray for my friends Jennifer & Randy, as they deal with a miscarriage, and all that involves.

I pray for Kevin & Charity in a faraway land and the struggles with things we take for granted, like electricity and water and medical care.

And I am totally grateful to God that Lorin's cousin Ferdie came through aneurysm surgery today and everything went well. I pray for continued good recovery.

I am thankful for my daughter and the invitation to have lunch with her today, and the time we have had together this week.

I am thankful for friends I am discovering and friends I am getting to know.

I am thankful for a great and merciful God.

Tonight I was at a friend's house. She is in the process of moving, even though she has been sick all week, fighting pneumonia. I figured I could at least go over and help wash out cabinets and unpack dishes. I was in the kitchen washing dishes. My husband had come by with a couple of replacement belts for vacuum cleaners. He was working on ours. He had taken it apart and was trying to get it back together. I overheard my friend's 8-year-old daughter, who had been watching him with great interest. I don't know what he had done, but I heard her say: "Do you know how to do that?" I about cracked up. I had just been in the room and had seen the vacuum cleaner's various parts strewn about the floor. Kids just ask the questions adults sometimes want to, but know not to. You go, Lillie!!

Pray for:
My friends -
Joanne - in treatment for breast cancer
Sabrina - in treatment for breast cancer, a lupus patient, a thyroid cancer survivor
Jane - in kidney failure, soon to need dialysis
Joan - whose daughter lives in Ft. Hood and is constantly having a health crisis while her husband is in Iraq (Stephanie's husband, that is)
Teri - recovering from pneumonia, after trying to recover from endocarditis, after trying to recover from an infection of unknown origin - she hasn't been able to work much for several months and the finances are a big concern
Pat - who needs a better job

A welfare client I am dealing with - a single mom with six children, trying to make it on her own, after having lost everything they owned to a fire in the past year, lost her dad to a heroin overdose in the past year, lost the grandmother who raised her, whose young daughter almost died from appendicitis

Roy & Brandi - moved here from Beaumont after Hurricane Rita, raising two young children, electric bills out of sight

Dale - ministering to others after having back surgery and not being able to work at a full-time job

Roy, who just lost his wife

Karen's family - as the holidays approach

Kerri's family - as the holidays approach

My supervisor's wife - who lost her mother this year

My co-worker, Tina, who just lost her dad

My co-worker, Doug, who recently lost his father-in-law

My friends, Kevin & Charity, and their sons, so far from home

Raising a child is an interesting journey. When they are very young, everything is easy. You are the center of attention. They adore you. You have all the answers. You are their hero. Then, things start changing as they get a mind of their own. Start thinking for themselves. Don't always see things your way. You're not always so smart. They grow up, and let you know in no uncertain terms they are no longer a child. They are now an adult. Well, most of the time anyway. At least until they get sick. At my house anyway. And then, it's "mommy" time again.

I was out of town last week. My daughter was sick. She wanted me to come home. To take care of her. Never mind that she has made it clear to me that she is 22 years old and an adult. She was sick and needed her Mommy. I was out of town a couple of days this week. I had drifted off to sleep. My phone rang. It was my daughter. "You didn't call us." I had seen her that morning. But it was bedtime. And I wasn't home. Mommies are supposed to be home at night - no matter how old their children are. It kinda gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. No matter how old you are.

On Saturday, I attended the memorial service for Linda. Most of the crowd were people I was not familiar with. Most come from a different socio-economic lifestyle than I. We probably do not have a lot in common - at least on the surface. But one thing we did have in common. We had all been touched by Linda's life. At one point in the service, we were offered the opportunity to speak about Linda if we wanted to. I waited for some of the others to say what they wanted and then took my turn. I told how I had been blessed to come to know Linda. How every time I saw her she had a smile and a hug for me. Pretty much the same story everyone else told. Many of those there had met Linda through riding CityLink. They all spoke the same story. They will miss her hugs. I told my daughter about this. She listened and then said thoughtfully - "She had a ministry." Indeed she did.

For most of my life, I have not been close to the people who have been less fortunate than I. Most churches I have attended just don't have many members from that part of society. We have missed out on a lot. I am grateful that our church leaders saw fit to bring someone to our ministry with an outreach to the community around us. My life has been richer for it. I think I'm getting closer to being what God wants us to be. Closer to being what I've always felt I needed to be. Thank God for that.