Friday, March 09, 2007
Livingston revisited
Last weekend we drove to Livingston to visit with Josh's mom. The trip had two purposes. We were carrying crosses to put on the side of the road where the accident happened. And we were going with her to Josh's grave. It would be her first trip there since the tombstone had been set.
As we were about 15 minutes from their house, a fire truck went around us with sirens blaring. A police car followed close behind. My mind could not help but think of Josh and the night he died - I wondered if some of those same emergency personnel might have been involved that night. Just a short distance down the road, we came upon the accident scene. We could see that one of the cars involved was on fire, still burning as we got to the point where traffic was stopped. We were only the second car back, and close enough to see and hear much more than we wanted to. There were fire trucks and police cars surrounding the scene, with lights flashing. Victoria almost immediately burst into sobs. The scene was too close to where Josh died. We both wondered - was this the way it was that night? Police cars and fire trucks blocking the highway. Lights flashing. The sound of the jaws of life. Traffic backed up.
We were held up for over an hour. We were told there was one casualty. CareFlight had been summoned for the survivor. We were forced to wait until the helicopter arrived. It landed on the highway, but thankfully on the other side of the accident, away from us. One man told us he had witnessed the accident. He waited briefly, as if waiting for us to ask him to tell us about it. We didn't. It would be too much information at that point. I prayed for the families involved. At one point, we could hear a woman screaming a name and running to the scene. Apparently one of the cars must have matched one driven by someone she was close to. It turned out not to be her family. A relief for her, but someone else would soon have their life shattered.
It was, to say the least, a most heart-wretching emotional time. Victoria sobbed most of the hour - torn by emotions still raw and by going through a scene so close to that which brought about our trip. She said, if it had happened near Abilene, if it weren't for the reason we were going, it probably would not have been so painful.
I had to call Pam and let her know we had been delayed. I was reluctant to call, but knowing I had to, I tried to downplay the reason for the delay as much as I could. I cut off her questions as best I could. Some things she did not need to hear right then. Of course, when she saw us she had more questions, but when we were there with her, it was easier to let her know.
We had a good day with her. We looked at photo albums and remembered Josh. It is amazing how much he and Victoria were alike in so many ways. From sports injuries to the way they ate their food, and how they both didn't like certain foods because of the texture. It was a good day of remembering. Josh's sister and a friend came over late in the afternoon, so Victoria got to visit with them.
Then, we headed out for the accident site. The cross planting took some time, getting just the right location, facing the crosses in just the right direction, getting them the same height. It was not as hard as I had thought it might be, but difficult enough. Liz (Josh's sister) pointed out how far down the road the truck had been dragged before the semi- that hit them was able to stop. A long way when you think about what was going on. I'm sure it went quickly and felt like eternity for that truck driver. Thankfully, death came instantly for both Josh and his cousin. I'm sure it took some time for emergency responders to arrive.
After the cross planting, we went to the cemetary. It was nearly sundown when we got there. The cemetary is a small country cemetary, with mostly family plots. Josh's tombstone is a simple, but dignified, cross. The family had three pictures of Josh laminated on porcelin frames and attached to the tombstone - his high school graduation photo, one of Josh playing basketball and the last one a picture I had taken of Josh and Victoria together (they cropped out Victoria, so only Josh is in the picture). It is possible that was the last picture made of Josh. At least, it is the last one the family has. They were so grateful to get it when we went down right after the funeral.
As we stood and sat by the graveside, one star began shining brightly in the sky. On the opposite side of the road, the moon started coming up. Josh's mom took the star as a sign that Josh was looking down on us. I didn't argue. It was a tranquil setting, one befitting Josh. I could almost picture him sitting on the bench there beside the grave, beside his grandfather's grave.
We stayed until the darkness closed in. And left, with the moon and one bright star lighting our way.
As we were about 15 minutes from their house, a fire truck went around us with sirens blaring. A police car followed close behind. My mind could not help but think of Josh and the night he died - I wondered if some of those same emergency personnel might have been involved that night. Just a short distance down the road, we came upon the accident scene. We could see that one of the cars involved was on fire, still burning as we got to the point where traffic was stopped. We were only the second car back, and close enough to see and hear much more than we wanted to. There were fire trucks and police cars surrounding the scene, with lights flashing. Victoria almost immediately burst into sobs. The scene was too close to where Josh died. We both wondered - was this the way it was that night? Police cars and fire trucks blocking the highway. Lights flashing. The sound of the jaws of life. Traffic backed up.
We were held up for over an hour. We were told there was one casualty. CareFlight had been summoned for the survivor. We were forced to wait until the helicopter arrived. It landed on the highway, but thankfully on the other side of the accident, away from us. One man told us he had witnessed the accident. He waited briefly, as if waiting for us to ask him to tell us about it. We didn't. It would be too much information at that point. I prayed for the families involved. At one point, we could hear a woman screaming a name and running to the scene. Apparently one of the cars must have matched one driven by someone she was close to. It turned out not to be her family. A relief for her, but someone else would soon have their life shattered.
It was, to say the least, a most heart-wretching emotional time. Victoria sobbed most of the hour - torn by emotions still raw and by going through a scene so close to that which brought about our trip. She said, if it had happened near Abilene, if it weren't for the reason we were going, it probably would not have been so painful.
I had to call Pam and let her know we had been delayed. I was reluctant to call, but knowing I had to, I tried to downplay the reason for the delay as much as I could. I cut off her questions as best I could. Some things she did not need to hear right then. Of course, when she saw us she had more questions, but when we were there with her, it was easier to let her know.
We had a good day with her. We looked at photo albums and remembered Josh. It is amazing how much he and Victoria were alike in so many ways. From sports injuries to the way they ate their food, and how they both didn't like certain foods because of the texture. It was a good day of remembering. Josh's sister and a friend came over late in the afternoon, so Victoria got to visit with them.
Then, we headed out for the accident site. The cross planting took some time, getting just the right location, facing the crosses in just the right direction, getting them the same height. It was not as hard as I had thought it might be, but difficult enough. Liz (Josh's sister) pointed out how far down the road the truck had been dragged before the semi- that hit them was able to stop. A long way when you think about what was going on. I'm sure it went quickly and felt like eternity for that truck driver. Thankfully, death came instantly for both Josh and his cousin. I'm sure it took some time for emergency responders to arrive.
After the cross planting, we went to the cemetary. It was nearly sundown when we got there. The cemetary is a small country cemetary, with mostly family plots. Josh's tombstone is a simple, but dignified, cross. The family had three pictures of Josh laminated on porcelin frames and attached to the tombstone - his high school graduation photo, one of Josh playing basketball and the last one a picture I had taken of Josh and Victoria together (they cropped out Victoria, so only Josh is in the picture). It is possible that was the last picture made of Josh. At least, it is the last one the family has. They were so grateful to get it when we went down right after the funeral.
As we stood and sat by the graveside, one star began shining brightly in the sky. On the opposite side of the road, the moon started coming up. Josh's mom took the star as a sign that Josh was looking down on us. I didn't argue. It was a tranquil setting, one befitting Josh. I could almost picture him sitting on the bench there beside the grave, beside his grandfather's grave.
We stayed until the darkness closed in. And left, with the moon and one bright star lighting our way.
# posted by pawatson @ 5:11 PM 
